The Haunted House

"The Haunted House" is a season 2 episode of the Summerlands, in which the Summerlands go to investigate the Old Abandoned House.

Location

 * the Old Abandoned House.
 * Walk Path

Characters

 * Patrick
 * Double D
 * Zack
 * Kids
 * The Kanker Sisters

Plot
he episode begins with the Summerlands finishing their latest scam, which is a taco stand. They use pieces of yellow crayons to make the cheese of the tacos and grass for the lettuce, and they use paper plates to hold the crayon pieces and grass. Patrick thinks that because the blue crayon is blue, like a blueberry, it will taste like one. He thinks it does, but when Double D eats a yellow crayon, he is disgusted. Suddenly, the Summerlands hear a cry for help, which Double D assumes is Jimmy. They run over, and see Jimmy staring in fright at the window of an old abandoned house. Jimmy says that he saw a scary figure with hideous hair. The kids began to give their own account of what lives inside the house, until Zack says that there's nothing inside. Kevin dares him to go inside, and says he'll give him a jawbreaker if he does so. Zack immediately grabs Patrick and Double D, and rushes inside. Zack scares Double D inside, so he and Patrick try to scare the kids by pretending that something inside is hurting them. At first, the kids worry about the Summerlands, but soon, the kids find that their screams of terror are fake when they see Patrick pretending to choke himself through the window. Eddy decides that it's time to leave. However, when he tries to open the door, the doorknob falls off. Zack tries to open it, but his finger gets stuck in the part of the door where the door knob originally was. The Summerlands try to pull him out, and throw themselves back down a staircase with the door piece still stuck on Zack's finger. The kids hear them screaming again, so they walk away, thinking that they're faking it again. The Patrick find themselves in a room full of mirrors. Zack makes muscles at himself, while Double D finds a trail of books leading up a staircase. Meanwhile, Patrick jumps into a shaft with Chunky Puffs, and the shaft goes down. Double D sees a library, and a book sticking out of the shelf. He puts it back in, which opens up a door that he climbs down. Zack tries to look for the other Summerlands when his legs start to get pulled into the staircase. He sees a piggy bank at the top, stretches to grab the piggy bank, which throws him away when he pulls it. He goes flying into a trash can, next to Double D and Patrick, who are also in trash cans. Suddenly, the Summerlands start to go on a sort of roller coaster ride trough a tunnel of love. Out of nowhere, they're naked and wearing hats. They see dolls of themselves doing chores and such. They get to the end of the ride to find the Kankers waiting for them, and dressed as brides. They give the Summerlands their rings, and Lee weds them. At the end, the Summerlands (fully clothed again) are pulling the Kankers in a wagon on the street. All they can do now is wait for the "Death do us part bit".

Quotes

 * Double D: "Grass, paper plates and crayons for cheese a taco does not make, Zack!"


 * Patrick: [swallowing the blue crayon] "Tart yet crusty."

Double D: [apparently refreshed] "It certainly rid me of that horrible non-toxic waxy aftertaste." Patrick: "My mom says not to pick my bellybutton."
 * Zack: "That's the first time I've seen anyone guzzle my brother's Armenian secret hot sauce."

Patrick: "Dad's home!"
 * Double D: [hearing Jimmy] "Oh dear, a shriek of terror!"

Patrick: "You scared Double-D, Zack."
 * Zack: [Speaking with a ghostly voice] "Double D! Let me poke your brain. MWA HA HA HA!"

Double D: "Your scaring me more than usual, Patrick."
 * Patrick: "This looks like the haunted house in 'I was a teenage cotton swab in Madame Turnidge's (?) earwax museum - the mini series' … I am the cotton swab - release the wax ear person!"


 * Zack: [Being pulled away by the carpet] "Where's the room moving? Where am I moving?" [Gets his legs sucked into the staircase] HELP! THE STAIRCASE IS EATING ME!!!"

Zack: "Is this Valentine's Day?" Patrick: "Gross!"
 * Double D: "It's a nightmare I tell you."

Zack: [sourly] "Get some glasses, Patrick!"
 * Patrick: [seeing a slumped model of himself] "Who's that good looking guy?"


 * Kevin: [seeing the wedding car go by with its "JUST MARYD" sticker] "Check out the dorkbusters - hate to see their kids!"